Until Now
by LauraGarthwait
Summary: Tara Knowles was born in Charming. She moved away at the age of 3 with her mother and comes back 18 years later to take care of her dying father. Her attention is being sought after by David Hale, an upstanding citizen, and by Jax Teller the bad boy of Charming.
1. Chapter 1

Tara Knowles stepped off of the bus in the sunny California town. She squinted her eyes, shoved her sunglasses on, and fumbled with her heavy suitcases.

"Here let me help you with those." A young man about her age jogged up to her and took the bags from her hand.

"Thanks." Tara smiled politely, grateful to not have to carry them another step.

"No problem. Where are you headed?" He asked.

He was cute in a goofy sort of way, not much taller than her, dark brown hair, and very friendly.

"Um... I have to find the address," She dug in her pocket looking for the scrap paper with her dad's address on it. "it's my dad's place, haven't been there since I was little…" she explained.

"Ah I've lived here my whole life so I know pretty much everyone. What's your dad's name?" He questioned.

"Tom Knowles." She replied quietly, not thrilled about having to advertise that the town drunk was her father.

"Ah," he answered with a look of pity, "hop in, I'll give you a ride. My name's David by the way. David Hale." He opened the jeep door for her so she could slide in.

"Thanks, I'm Tara." She laid her head back against the seat and stared straight ahead.

"So how long are you here for, Tara?" She fought the urge to roll her eyes, he was going out of his way to give her a ride after all, the least she could do was be nice even if he was being ridiculously nosey.

"Not sure," she shrugged, "he's pretty sick. I'm here to help take care of him until…well…you know."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." David sighed. He had heard that Tom was sick, but didn't know it was that bad. Most people-his parents included-just say the town would be better off without Tom Knowles in it.

"It is what it is." She shrugged again.

"Here we are." He smiled, pulling into a small white house on the corner of the street.

"Thanks for the ride." She nodded and climbed out. He followed behind her, carrying the bags to the porch.

"Would you be interested in dinner sometime? Maybe I could show you around the town?" She could sense his nervousness.

"Um…" She bit her lip, she wanted to say no, but he was really nice and it would get her out of the house at least for a little while. "Sure." She agreed. She would have to make sure she let him know later that it was definitely not a date.

"Really?" His face lit up, "Wow. Okay. Cool. I'll call you."

"Okay. See ya."

"Hey pop." She sat on the coffee table and looked at her dad asleep on the couch. He was so thin and pale. He looked so fragile.

"You're here." He opened his eyes and coughed, sitting up. "You've grown up." He stared at her admiring the beautiful woman his daughter had turned into.

"Yep." She agreed, wanting to tell him that it wouldn't be such a shock if he had been around for more than five minutes during the last eighteen years.

She was born in Charming. Her mom and dad divorced when she was three and her mom moved them to Portland. Her dad rarely made an effort to visit or even call, which made moving away from her friends and family to take care of an almost stranger that much harder.

"You're beautiful, look just like your mom." She could see he was forcing this conversation. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Thanks. I'm going to unpack. Where's my room?" She stood up and gripped her suitcases in her hands.

"Same as it always was." He pointed down the hall.

"I haven't been here since I was a toddler, Tom." She muttered under her breath and walked in the direction he was pointing to from the sofa.

It was a small room, much smaller than the one she was used to but she would make do. This is temporary. That was the same thing she had been telling herself since she hugged her mother goodbye at the bus station before dropping everything to be there for the man who was never there for her or her mother.

She scowled at the bed, apparently she was going to need to go furniture shopping since the bed was the same toddler bed she slept in before her mom became fed up with his constant drinking. "Great."

Her dad was back asleep by the time she went back out, she needed his car. "Tom," she shook him lightly, his glazed over eyes focused on hers, "sorry to wake you up again but I need to go find a bed, can I use the car out front?"

"Of course sweetpea," he pointed to the keys on the table, "there's some cash in the coffee can under my bed. It should be more than enough to get anything you need."

"Okay. Thanks." She hadn't planned on using his money but since he was offering and he hadn't paid child support at all since they moved away, she might as well. She swiped the keys from the table, "do you need anything while I'm out?"

He shook his head and closed his eyes, "having you here with me now is all I need. Thank you baby."

Her breath hitched, she stared down at the frail man in front of her. She had spent so much time hating him for not being a part of her life, she felt a spark of hope that their final time together would replace some of that anger and hatred. She would try anyways. "You're welcome." She hurried out the front door.

"Hey again," David Hale approached her as she stood outside of the tiny store, "going shopping?"

"Trying to," She sighed, her frustration with the small town getting the best of her, "I need a bed but this is the only place I can find that even has beds and they aren't what I'm looking for."

"Oh you will probably want to look in Lodi for one. They should have what you need there. I can show you if you'd like."

"Sure," She agreed, she definitely didn't want to get lost, "I was just going to go in there and get some ice cream. You want some?" She gestured across the street at the ice cream parlor.

"Yeah, but how about we get some in Lodi. There's a really good one there." David replied.

"We're already here." I turn and walk toward the entrance.

"Yeah but you don't want to eat there. The ice cream isn't that good." He stepped in front of her, "the one in Lodi is much better. You'll thank me once you try it."

She narrowed her eyes. He definitely did not want her going in there for some reason and that only made her want to go in that much more, "well I want to try this one. Ya know, support the local businesses and all so if you don't like this one, you can wait on me out here."

He sighed in defeat, this girl was more strong willed than he anticipated, "Okay. Of course I'll come with you." There was no way he was going to let her go in there-with them-all alone.

"Good."

It looked like a pretty nice shop inside, she didn't know what his deal was. It was crowded so it couldn't be too bad.

She ordered a strawberry sundae and sat at a table by the window.

"You sure you don't want to get it to go?" David asked looking around anxiously.

"No, here is fine." She answered and looked around curious to know what had him acting this way. She didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Okay." He sat across from her.

"You know you could just tell me what has you acting so weird." She pointed out.

"This business belongs to shady people." He didn't elaborate any further.

"Well I'm not here for the people, I'm here for the ice cream and they sure do make a good sundae." She grinned and shrugged.

"I guess."

The roar of motorcycle filled the air and pulled in out front.

"Speaking of." David hissed looking out the window. He spoke with a lot of hostility toward the group of bikers entering the shop.

"Well…well…well boys we have a Hale in our shop." One of the bikers walked over toward us. "What do we owe the pleasure of your company daddy's boy?" He was young, with a mohawk and tattoos on his head.

"My friend wanted some ice cream." David answered.

"You should have taken her somewhere else." He stared David down. He had that look in his eyes like he was trying to prove something to someone.

"Easy Juice. Show some respect, there's a lady here." A handsome blonde biker approached them and patted his friend's back. "Besides the Hale's are always welcome at Scoops."

His attention was focused solely on her, "what's your name darlin'?" He looked as if he could see down to her soul with those beautiful blue eyes.

"Tara." She fought the butterflies she was feeling. If he wanted to play games with her…game on.

"That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he winked and flashed her his grin, "I should take you for a ride sometime." Her suspicions were confirmed. He was definitely a player.

She nodded, "does that line usually work for you?" She took the last bite of her sundae and stood up.

"Usually." He admitted, unashamed.

"I think you need a new line, darlin'." She winked and brushed past him, her arm lightly touching his. "You ready David?"

"Yeah." David followed her out, smiling smugly back at the guys.

"Who was that?" She asked once they were safely out of earshot.

"Jax Teller, he thinks he's God's gift to women, and most girls usually fall for the crap he throws out." David answered.

"I'm not most girls." Tara answered honestly, although she had been tempted to take him up on that offer.

Jax watched the mysterious girl out the window. No one had ever turned him down. Ever. This was definitely an interesting turn of events, even if he was slightly annoyed he'd have to up his game for the first time in his life.

"Thanks for showing me around," Tara stated when David dropped her back off with the cutlass, "I guess I should get back and check on Tom and wait on them to deliver my bed."

"Okay. Hey would you be interested in going out with me tomorrow? We could get dinner or go to a movie." David questioned, his eyes full of hope and excitement.

"I'll let you know. I don't really know what I've got going on tomorrow. I'll talk to you later though."

"Okay. See ya." The hope hadn't diminished, her choosing to hang out with him instead of Jax had him over thinking things with her, he wanted to spend every minute with her he could.

Tara made her dad dinner and moved her old toddler bed to the shed in the back yard. The delivery guys set up the new bed in her room and she spent the rest of the evening avoiding the small talk with her dad and unpacking her belongings in her room.

She caught herself letting her mind wander to the hot biker from earlier. Jax. The tingle she felt when her skin brushed against his was burning in her mind. She could no longer say this trip was a complete waste of time.

"Tara?" Her dad called out. "Did you get settled in?"

"Almost." She paused waiting to see if he actually needed something, "need anything?"

"Just sit with me awhile. I know you're avoiding me." He dropped his head. He was ashamed of the man he let himself become. A man that his daughter hated.

"I just don't really have anything to say." She answered.

"Tell me about you-your life." He insisted.

"I graduated at the top of my class. I went to college for a year but then decided to take some time off and get a job to help mom with the bills. My dad-step dad-passed away right after Christmas and left mom with only a part time minimum wage job. That's about it."

"I'm sorry." He responded with sadness in his eyes. "I should have been there for you. Paid child support at least then your mom wouldn't have struggled so much."

She thought back to the wad of cash he had stored under his bed; he could have help out tremendously if he hadn't been such an asshole. She decided not to dwell on that, as angry as she was there was no point of being a bitch to a dying man. "It's okay. We managed."

"It's not okay. I will make this up to you somehow baby."

She nodded in response, she doubted if that were even possible. Eighteen-years-worth of no contact is a lot to make up for in what little time he's got left. "I'm going to get some sleep. You should rest too."

"Good night baby. I love you."

"Goodnight." She offered him a small smile instead of the scowl that had been an almost permanent fixture on her face in his presence.

She made her escape to her room and opened the windows. She should have done it earlier to let the smell out. Her mom had probably been the last one to open the windows in here. She laid back on her bed and listened to the sound of her dad's TV playing in the next room. She wished things had been different. She wished he would have reached out to her sooner and not just because he was dying. She knew he was trying but it was too late now, she had to build that wall up and keep reminding herself of all of the awful things he had done so she didn't let herself get attached to him. He was going to die and nothing she could do would change that. She could only try to keep her heart from breaking in the process.

Tara spent the morning trying to tidy up the house the best she could. It was obvious by all of the dust, piled high junk scattered in random places, and the overall filth of the place he didn't do much cleaning even when he was healthy enough to do it.

Her efforts were futile, it seemed every time she thought she would get one room accomplished, she would find more stuff hidden away and built up. She didn't give up. She would make this place more livable if it took her the entire time she was here.

"Tara, can you run to the market and get some more orange juice?" Her dad hollered from his bed.

"Sure," she agreed, "I need to pick up your prescriptions at the pharmacy anyways. I'll be back soon." She wiped the sweat off her head. She needed to see if David could recommend someone to take a look at the air conditioner, it felt like a furnace in there.

When she got back into the car at the pharmacy the car wouldn't start. It wouldn't turn over. It was completely dead. "Now what the hell am I gonna do?" She mutters to herself, lightly beating her head against the steering wheel.

She climbs out of the car hoping someone will be nice enough to try to help her, one lady had jumper cables in her car and tried that but it didn't help. She gave Tara the number for her mechanic.

"Hi, I'm hoping you can help me. I'm at the pharmacy and my car won't start. It won't turn over or anything. It just makes a clicking sound. Someone tried jumping the battery off but that didn't work either." She hung up the phone and waited for the tow to get there. She called her dad to let him know she would be later than she expected but she had to see what was wrong with the car.

They got her car loaded onto the truck and the older gentleman stepped around so she could fully see him. He was wearing an oxygen mask and wearing a denim vest that resembled the ones that the bikers had one at the ice cream shop. She felt a surge of excitement that she may get the chance to see Jax again. I climbed up and sat between the two of them.

"You new around here?" The younger one wearing a vest that said Prospect on it asked.

"Sort of." I replied.

"How are you sort of new?" He questioned, looking out the window.

"Quit interrogating the girl." The older spoke gruffly.

"It's okay," I figured I might as well get used to the questions, from the looks of things this town doesn't get many new faces, "I was born here. I moved away when I was a baby and now I'm back to spend some time with my biological father during his final days."

"Tom Knowles?" He asked catching on relatively quickly who she was. The car probably giving it away.

"Yes sir." She answered quietly.

"I remember you when you were just a little thing. You used to play with my boy out in front of your house. I lived across the street from you back then."

She smiled politely. She didn't remember any of what he was saying or anything about him but it was still nice to not be around total strangers even if she didn't remember them. "Do you still live there?"

"No. My son lives there now."

"Oh." She nodded as they pulled into the parking lot of the shop. Bikes were everywhere. The butterflies she felt the day before were back. She was hoping to see Jax again but hoping that it wasn't obvious that she wanted to see him.

She spotted him immediately and her heart almost stopped. There he was standing shirtless in one of the bays wiping grease off his hands with a wife beater slung over his shoulder. Her mouth watered taking in his chiseled arms, abs, and everything. She didn't know anything about the man except for he was the hottest guy she had ever laid eyes on.

His eyes locked on hers and he smiled-that smile-he sauntered over to her, "you know if your boyfriend sees you here, he's going to shit bricks. Just thought I'd let you know but you're more than welcome to stay darlin'."

"Actually I don't have a boyfriend but I'll keep that in mind if I get one. Thanks for the tip. Now who do I see about fixing my car?" She brushed past him again but this time he grabbed her hand spinning her around. Her heart hammered against her chest at his touch.

"That would be," he answered, "what's wrong with it?"

"That's what I'm paying you to tell me. You are the mechanic aren't you?" She answered, not missing a beat. Keeping her eyes locked on his took focus and a lot of will power. She knew if she allowed herself to look down at his body she would be make a total fool out of herself.

"Smart ass." He smirked.

"It's making a clicking sound but won't start. Jumping the battery didn't help."

"Okay. I can get Lowell to take a look at it for you. He's our best mechanic." He ordered Lowell to take a look at the car.

"Oh…so you're not the best?" She purred. She bit her lip seductively.

He shifted his weight, she could tell the flirting was having an effect on him but she still wouldn't grant herself the pleasure of looking down. "I have other expertise." He ran his tongue over his lips.

She felt a shiver down her spine, "well can you have Lowell give me a call when my car is done?" She needed to get away, she was letting this get out of hand. She knew she would never sleep with him, even if she had thought about it. She wasn't that type of girl but she also didn't want to be a tease. Leaving was the best answer.

"You should just hang out until he's done." He offered.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not the type of girl you are used to Jax. I don't…I mean I haven't…I just need to go." She couldn't bring herself to tell a total stranger that although she was into him…at least his looks since she didn't really know him…she couldn't give her virginity to him. So she left him standing there, hot and bothered, and at a loss about what just happened.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Gemma asked Jax when he came into the office.

"Nothing." He plopped down into one of the chairs.

"He's trying to get into the new girl's pants and she's not having it." Opie chimed in doubled over in laughter, "today makes the second time he's struck out with her. The prince is losing his touch."

"Fuck you bro." Jax huffed, "I still got it. Shit, I can fuck any girl on this lot or in this town without even trying."

"Except for the one that's got you in here pouting like a pussy." Opie teased, laughing harder. Jax just threw his middle finger up in response. He was right though. He was pouting like a bitch over some random girl that wouldn't even give him the time of day.

"You boys be nice to that girl." Piney growled. "She's a good girl and is dealing with a lot of shit right now."

"How the hell do you know? She just moved here." Opie questioned.

"You shit heads used to play with her when you were babies. She lived across the street from us." Piney grumbled.

"I'll be damned." Gemma interjected. "Tom Knowles' girl. What was her name…" Gemma pondered out loud.

"Tara." Piney replied.

"Is she staying there now?" Jax asked.

"As far as I know." Piney rolled his eyes. "You leave that girl alone, ya hear?"

Jax's mood improved drastically, in an interesting turn of events Tara lived across the street from him and Opie. He should have gone home last night instead of burying himself in that croweater, then he would have known that the mysterious girl was his new neighbor. "I hear ya old man."


	2. Chapter 2

"Tara," her dad cried out from his bed, "help me up." He was coughing and struggling to breathe when she ran into his room.

"Here," she pulled him up and turned his emergency oxygen back on for him, "how's that?" She asked with tears in her eyes, seeing him this way made his illness seem more real.

He nodded in response, she covered him up and left him there to rest. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and went to see who was knocking on her door. She hoped it wasn't David, she wasn't in the mood to deal with his cheery nature right now.

"Oh hi…" she said surprised seeing Jax standing there, "what…what are you doing here?" She asked, shaking her head at how ridiculous she was stuttering like a fool.

"Thought I'd come by and welcome you to the neighborhood." He grinned, "it's the neighborly thing to do after all."

"Neighborly?" She tilted her raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"Yeah," he nodded and turned to point at the little house across the street, "that's my place."

"Ah…" she was stunned, she liked the idea that he lived close on one hand but on the other it had the potential to be disastrous, "well thanks for the welcome."

"Anytime." He winked, "you wanna hang out for a bit?"

"I can't," her head was screaming at her. Of course she wanted to hang out with him. "My dad's not doing well so I need to stick around and make sure he doesn't need anything else."

"That's cool, we can hang out here. I don't mind."

She sighed, he wasn't making this easy, "I don't think that's a good idea."

He nodded but he had a hint of fury in his eyes, "you want me to leave you alone, just say so."

"I'm sorry, I'm being rude. It's just that I'm not the kind of girl you're used to."

"You keep saying that, what does that even mean?" He hissed, interrupting her.

"You flirt with every girl you lay eyes on, you sleep with them giving them the hope that you will want something more from them, but in reality sex is all you care about…and I'm not that girl."

"Is that a judgement you picked up all on your own or did you have some help coming up with that conclusion." He squinted his eyes in frustration. This girl had him figured out, wasn't buying his shit, and it annoyed the hell out of him.

"Guys like you are fairly predictable." She stated, not backing down and not hinting that David had filled her in on some of Jax's ways.

"Is that so?" He scoffed, "it seems more likely your pal Hale has been giving you the inside scoop. No one is that predictable, darlin." Jax had already made a mental note to have a chat with the fucker the next time he saw him.

"You are. I knew you were a player the minute you stepped into the ice cream shop. So confident in yourself that you were utterly shocked when I didn't bow down and suck your cock right there in front of everyone."

His dick twitched just at the mental image she gave him, he was turned on and wanted to fuck her right here on the porch even more so now than when he first arrived. Her standing up to him was hot as hell. He shook the image out of his head, "You're right, when I first saw you sitting there smokin' hot sucking the strawberry off of your spoon, my cock was rock hard, I wanted to fuck you. You being a bitch to me right now has my dick hard again, I want you even more but I respect that you're still a virgin. I want to be your friend, Piney said we used to be friends when we were little, we are neighbors I figure we can at least be civil if you don't wanna be my friend."

"We can be friends." She whispered, her face scarlet red with all of the sex talk and his brutal honesty. She was being a bitch, she had no right to judge him even if her accusations were spot-on. She noticed his massive erection pressing against his jeans…it was hard to miss…but she had to focus to keep her attention off of it. She had seen a penis before, but Bobby Crail's back in 9th grade was nothing compared to this. That was just a best friend showing the other what the opposite sex looked like in person, not magazines or television.

"Good." He smirked, fighting to keep the thought of what she looked like underneath all of those clothes out of his mind. "Me and Op are having a get together later tonight at our place, if you're free you should stop by."

She considered briefly, "What time?"

"Around 9."

"I'll try to make an appearance." She answered, she didn't want to promise anything given the situation with her dad.

"See ya later, darlin." He winked, knowing her aversion to referring to her as darlin.

"Later asshole." She retorted, not missing a beat, returning his mischievous grin.

His trademark smirk was back before he swaggered back across the street.

"Hot damn," she muttered to herself, "that boy is trouble." She watched him until he disappeared around the side of his house.

Tara peeked in on her dad, he was sitting up in the bed looking through photographs, "what's that?"

"You when you were little." He smiled fondly down at the pictures of her and held them out.

She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at what he was showing her. He had pictures from her as a newborn all the way until she left. Tears filled her eyes when she found one of him holding her against his chest. "I was invited to a get together later tonight, so I'm gonna cook you some food and get you settled before I leave."

"I'm not hungry, but you go and have fun." He replied tiredly. She was still amazed by how tired he was, he was withering away into nothing and it was harder to watch than she had originally expected.

"Hey baby how are things going?" Her mom asked as soon as Tara answered her call.

"He's not good." Tara sighed.

"I hope he goes quickly so he doesn't suffer any more than he has to."

"Yeah," Tara hesitated, "I didn't think it would be this hard to see him suffer. As much as I hated him…or thought I hated him… I just assumed I would be indifferent to the whole situation."

"That's not how your built baby." She replied. "You are a kind loving girl. You have a big heart and watching your flesh and blood die is enough to shake anyone."

"I guess so."

"So how is everything else? Make any friends?" Her mom questioned.

"Everything is fine. I've met a few people; I was invited to a get together tonight."

"That sounds fun. Any boys?" She could hear her mom smirk through the phone.

"Yeah…" She grinned, "Jackson Teller. He said we used to play together when we were babies."

"That's Gemma and John Teller's boy." Her mom stated, "you played with him and Harry Winston all of the time. Harry's mother Mary and Gemma were good friends of mine before we took off.

"Harry?" Tara wondered out loud, "He must go by Opie now. He lives in that house now with Jax."

"Did they follow in their father's footsteps and patch into the motorcycle club?"

"Yep," Tara responded, "Jax is Vice President."

Her mom worried about her getting involved with the MC but it was a temporary situation and at least she knew she would be protected. "Just be careful baby. The members had and most likely still have a reputation for being womanizers."

Tara chuckled, "yeah, I've already been informed of their reputation. Especially Jax's reputation, but you know me I'm always careful. I will talk to you later though; I've got to get ready for the party tonight."

"Okay baby. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went. I love and miss you so much."

"Love you too, mom."

Tara sat on the sofa anxiously watching the minutes' pass, she didn't want to seem too desperate so she waited until 9:30 to head over.

There were several other bikes in the yard besides the two that belong to Opie and Jax. She knocked lightly on the door.

"Can I help you?" A petite dark haired girl appeared at the door.

"I'm Tara, I live across the street. Jax said I should stop by."

"Oh. Okay. Well come on in. I'm Donna, Opie's old lady."

Tara nodded.

"Jax," Donna called out. "look who's here." She gestured back at Tara.

"Hey…" his panty dropping smile was back. He looked genuinely happy to see her. "You came."

"Yeah," she returned his smile, "he's resting so I thought I'd stop by for a few minutes."

"I'm glad you did." He winked. "Everyone…" Jax called the attention to everyone in the room, "this is my new friend Tara Knowles, she lives across the street."

Tara gave everyone a small wave, feeling slightly embarrassed that everyone's attention was on her. A few people whistled at her, only causing her to blush more.

"Thanks for that." She muttered sarcastically.

"Anytime darlin." He smirked, "I mean Tara."

"Asshole." She playfully rolled her eyes.

"Want a beer?" He questioned.

"Eww…" Tara wrinkled her nose, "I don't like beer, got any tequila?"

"Yeah, sure thing." He poured the tequila and handed her the shot glass.

"Thanks," she threw her head back and swallowed the shot, "ahhh…not bad."

"That's my girl," he laughed and poured her another shot, "here…have another one."

"Trying to get me drunk?" She giggled, hating the sound of her laugh, not realizing he thought it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

"Nah," he gave her his famous smirk, "we're just friends."

"Good answer," she replied, "I'm happy we're friends." She really was glad she decided to give him a chance and be friends. It was nice having someone to hang out with-someone other than David who was nice and all but even she couldn't fully resist Jax's allure.

"Me too babe," he bumped her gently, "so now that we're friends do I get any benefits?" He laughed when she smacked him.

"Absolutely not…" she chuckled with him, "only the benefit of my friendship."

"I can live with that." He stated honestly. He would deal with his almost obsessive lust for her if it meant he got to hang out with her. He didn't want to push her away.

"I should get back home, make sure he's still okay. Thanks for the inviting me and the drinks, I had fun."

"No problem," he answered, "I'll walk you home."

"It's just across the street, I don't think I need an escort." She giggled.

"I said…I'll walk you." He tried giving her a stern look but it turned into her favorite crooked grin.

"Well thank you." She accepted his offer.

"Anytime babe." He placed his hand on the small of her back leading her outside.

"Well I guess babe is a step up from darlin'." She shrugged.

He laughed, "is darlin really that bad?"

"It wouldn't be if you didn't use it as an endearment to every other female on the planet."

"Okay…Okay…I got it. I want call you darlin again," he licked his lips, "unless it's just to fuck with ya."

"Such a gentleman." She bumped into him.

"You know it, babe…wait, is babe okay?"

"Babe is fine." She stated. She didn't want to admit that it gave her a massive amount of butterflies' every time he referred to her as 'babe'. "Well thanks for walking me home."

"No problem." He leaned in and gave her a hug, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Her head was swimming, she discreetly inhaled his scent. She didn't know what kind of cologne he wore but it wonderful. He smelled amazing. "See you later." She replied realizing that she hadn't yet responded.

"You into that girl or what?" Donna asked when Jax walked back in.

"We're just friends." Jax answered, chugging a beer. "I'm gonna head to the clubhouse for a while."

"She seems nice Jax. Be good to her." Donna glared at him.

"Got it, boss." Jax responded, "But as I said, we're just friends."

"I think you should keep it that way." She knew the kind of man Jax could be and the new girl definitely didn't need that kind of drama given the shit she was dealing with Tom Knowles. He was a major fuck up in this town but it would be hard for anyone to watch their dad lay there and die.

Jax rode off hastily toward the clubhouse. He needed to sink his cock deep into something and get his mind off the girl next door who was driving him completely insane.


	3. Chapter 3

The house was quiet when Tara entered, which she was grateful for. She didn't want small talk with Tom to ruin the giddy mood Jax had her in.

She laid down on the bed wishing she hadn't cut their conversation short. She debated going back over there just to see him again but didn't want to come off as desperate. "Shit. Shit. Shit." She muttered covering her face with her pillow. She hadn't expected to like him given his reputation. She figured he would be a conceited asshole but he was actually really nice and funny, which made not liking him that much harder.

She peeked out her window hoping to catch a glimpse of him. "Stop being a stalker, Tara. Jeez." She scolded herself before closing her blinds and deciding to lay her dad's medicine out for him.

She opened the water bottle, placing it and his pills on the bedside table. She stared at him for a moment before realization hit. His chest wasn't rising. "Tom?" She shook him. "Dad?" She cried out shaking him harder. "No. No. Not yet. Please not yet." She cried out dialing 911.

He was gone. Her heart was heavy. She sat on the front porch step waiting for them to remove the body. She needed to call her mom but just didn't feel up to it.

"Miss?" She was greeted by one of the paramedics on the scene.

"Yes?" She answered.

"This was under his pillow." They held out a folded piece of paper.

She opened it slowly.

 _Tara,_

 _If you're reading this my time on this Earth has ended. I wish I could say I did more with my life, but I failed horribly in all aspects of my life. My greatest failure being letting you down day after day. I know you hate me. I don't blame you for that. I never gave you a reason to love me. I want you to know how sorry I am for not being there for you when it mattered and I wanted to thank you for being here for me in my last days despite my failures. You have no idea how happy you made me being here, you didn't have to be here. You didn't owe me anything but yet you came and cared for me and that has made this so much easier. All I wanted before I passed was to see you one last time and tell you how much I loved you, so thank you for giving me that chance. I love you so much baby girl. I hope one day you will understand that this is true and hate me a little less. I'm so proud of the woman you have grown into. You will do great things in this life, I'm glad I got the chance to see your greatness if only for a little while._

 _Love you forever,_

 _Tom Knowles "Dad"_

The tears were streaming from her eyes.

"Hey." David walked up onto the porch beside her, she hadn't even heard him pull up. "Are you okay?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out, she nodded in response. She wiped her nose with the handkerchief David offered. He rubbed her back lightly. "It's okay to be upset."

"I'm fine." She whispered. She wasn't, she was anything but fine, but she knew this day was coming. She just didn't know it would be this soon.

"Okay." He continued rubbing her back.

She stared across the road as the dark haired girl she met earlier came toward her. "I just wanted to check on you…"

"She's fine." David answered before Tara could respond.

"Thank you for stopping by." Tara answered, her eyes darting back across the street hoping to see Jax approaching.

"I know I don't know you..." Donna paused giving Tara a sympathetic smile, "but if you need anything just let me know okay? I'm usually always over there or at the clubhouse. Here's my number." She pulled out a piece of scrap paper she had jotted the number down on before coming over and handed it to Tara.

"Thank you so much." Tara answered but her eyes were fixed on Jax's house.

"I'll get out of your way." Donna stated, walking back across the street to her car to head to the clubhouse. It was clear what Tara needed and it wasn't her and sure as hell wasn't David Hale.

"Jax." Donna pounded on the door of Jax's dorm room at the clubhouse. "Put your dick in your pants and open the door." She shouted after hearing the moans coming from the room.

"What the hell?" A croweater slung the door open angrily. "We're busy. What do you want?"

"Beat it slut." Donna growled. The croweater ducked out of the room before Donna rearranged her face. It was rare that anyone saw Donna this way and once she got to this point, it was best to steer clear of her.

"You better have a good reason for interrupting before I even get off." Jax hissed. "So let's hear it." He stated after he finished sliding up his jeans.

"Tara." Donna said simply and stared at him.

"What about her?" He squinted his eyes in frustration and confusion.

"Her dad is dead…David Hale is there as we speak comforting her. Just thought you'd want to know."

Jax threw his t-shirt and shoes on, "what does that have to do with me?" He asked the question but Donna could see his yearning to get to her. She didn't know if it was because he really cared for the girl or if it was because of his jealousy and hatred for David Hale but it was clear Tara had been looking for him and that was the only reason she's here right now against her better judgement.

"You said you're "friends" she looked like she could use a friend." Donna answered and stepped out of his way as Jax brushed past her to his bike, the croweater long forgotten.

"Are you ready to continue?" Wendy cut off his path to the door.

"Nope. Got to go." Jax answered stepping around her.

Donna smirked at the scene. It was the first time she could say she saw Jax Teller turn down pussy to go to the aid of a female that wasn't family.

Jax pulled into his driveway and ran across the street seeing her fragile body sitting on the porch swing with that fucker's arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"I just heard. I'm so sorry." Jax spoke when he got into the yard. Tara's head snapped up. She had given up on looking for him so his voice startled her.

"I've got this Teller. Get back to your party." David groaned. He knew deep down he was no match for Jax. He hadn't missed the way she would look up over there at the sound of a bike or a voice coming outside.

Jax ignored the jab as much as it grated him. He wanted to jerk the fucker out of that swing and beat him within an inch of his life but that would have to be another day. Tara's wellbeing was more important. "Hey," he lifted her chin up gently and they just stared in each other's eyes, "is it okay if I give you a hug? You look like you could use a hug." She nodded and he helped her up out of the swing and pulled her into his chest. He held her there and he felt her sob.

"SHH," Jax whispered, "I've got you. It's okay. I'm here." He stroked her hair gently.

Jax noticed the range of emotions running across Hale's face. Hurt. Anger. Frustration. He was not happy that she was in Jax's arms now instead of his.

Donna and Opie stood by the car and watched the interaction between Jax and Tara. "I've never seen him act that way with no strings attached." Donna shook her head in amazement.

"Me either." Opie tilted his head to the side. Jax has always known how to talk to women, he could charm them out of their pants in a matter of minutes but this was new…genuine…not typical Jax Teller behavior.

David cleared his throat. "Well I guess I should be getting home," David paused, "unless you want me to stay?"

Tara could hear the hopefulness in his tone, she stepped away from Jax and turned to face David, "no that's okay. I'm fine. I'm going to go to bed soon. I really appreciate you being here for me. Thanks David." She gave him a small smile.

"Oh. Okay then. I'll come check on you tomorrow then." David leaned in and hugged her. Jax fought the urge to throw him from the porch. Instead he placed his hand on her lower back.

"That's not really necessary. I'm fine, really."

"I'll see you tomorrow." David smiled, don't she know he already can't wait to see her again?

"See ya." She answered.

She stepped into her house and Jax followed behind her. It felt strange being here without her dad. Her mind began to wonder if he called out to her for help before he took his final breath. Her heart hammered against her chest. She crumbled down to the floor and she could no longer control her emotions. It was usually a rule not to cry hysterically in front of hot guys but she couldn't help it.

"Shh. Shh. Shh." Jax pulled her up from the floor to the sofa and into his lap.

"I wasn't here." She choked out. "I might have been able to get him help."

"There was nothing you could do. This isn't your fault. Shh." He rocked her gently.

"I was such a bitch to him." She cried harder.

"Don't do this to yourself," he rubbed the wet hair back out of her face and made her look at him, "you came here to take care of him when you didn't have to. I admire you for that."

She nodded and took several breaths to regain her composure, "I'm sorry. I'm not usually a cry baby." She faked a smile hoping to lighten the mood.

"Babe, I hardly see this as being a cry baby. You just lost your dad. You have a right to be upset and cry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just sorry I wasn't here sooner for you. I didn't know. I was at the clubhouse…" He decided to leave out what he was doing there, she definitely didn't need to know that.

"It's okay," she gazed into his eyes, "thank you for coming."

"I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else."

She looked around the room. There was no way she was going to be able to stay here alone. Not this soon. "Is there a hotel nearby?"

Jax stared at her in question.

"I don't think I'll be able to handle being here by myself…"

He nodded in understanding, "there's not one in Charming but if you don't want to be here, you can stay with us at the house or..." he paused, "I can stay here with you."

"Jax, that's really nice but I told you I'm not…"

"Stop," he held up his hand interrupting her, "I know you know of my reputation but that's not what this about. I'm just offering to give you a room and a shoulder or chest to sleep on…no sex required. I'm not that much of an asshole."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…I mean…I just didn't know." She stammered. She sighed frustrated she was sounding like such an idiot unable to form complete sentences.

"It's okay. Don't be sorry. Just let me help you and we'll call it even." He winked.

"Okay." She agreed without any more hesitation. "If you're sure you don't care; we can stay here. I would go over there but it looks like the party is still going on and I'm really tired." She also didn't want to face anyone else at the moment and if she was honest she didn't want to share him with anyone else right then either.

"If you're really wanting to go over there babe I'll tell everyone else to get lost." He answered.

"That's not necessary. Here is fine." She walked to her bed.

"Okay. Do you want to walk over there with me to get some sweat pants? Otherwise I'm going to be sleeping in my boxers. I can't stand sleeping in jeans."

"You can go over there; I'll be okay until you get back…or your boxers is fine. It doesn't matter." She answered.

"If you're sure." He replied kicking his shoes off, pulling his t-shirt over his head, and sliding out of his jeans.

Her heart hammered against her chest again this time for a completely different reason.

He stood there almost completely naked and she felt a tug deep down that she's never felt before. "Well…" she choked out, "I'm going to go get in my pajamas and get ready for bed too." She pulled out a sexy silky lingerie her best friend had gotten her for her birthday that she had refused to wear-until now. She refused to let him see her in her holey pair of sweat pant pajamas that she usually wore.

His breath hitched when she walked back into the room, that nightgown barely touched her knee. He slid under the sheet hoping to hide his forming erection from her. He didn't want to upset her or make him think he tricked her into bed or anything along those lines.

She climbed into bed beside him. She gave into her urge and scooted as close to him as she could get and rested her head on his chest. She felt him trying to keep his lower body away from her, it didn't take her long to figure out why. She turned and brushed her leg against his massive erection purposely. "Oops um…I'm so sorry." She muttered feigning innocence, her insides tingling.

He groaned at the contact, his erection throbbing, wanting more. "It's okay."

She was having an internal battle, "you're a 21-year-old virgin…what are you waiting for…take the plunge…he wants you just as much as you want him…do it." Her raging hormones won the battle, she pulled his mouth down on hers, slid her hand into his boxers gripping him into her hands.

"Ah fuck…shit…what are you doing babe?" He moaned out.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She purred against his lips.

He hungrily pulled her into him, kissing her with an intensity he had never felt before. He slid his finger into her panties circling her clit. She bucked her hips up.

His better judgement took over and he pulled back stopping the interaction.

"What's wrong?" She panted.

"We can't do this." He answered, mentally kicking his ass for stopping. This has been what he's been waiting for since he saw her that day in Scoops.

"What? Why? I thought…"

"I do want this." He interrupted her. "Fuck I want you so bad…more than anything…you know that."

"Then what's the problem?" She questioned confused.

"You don't want this."

"Um…I think I do." She gestured down to her soaking wet panties.

He rubbed her cheek lightly, "I don't want you to wake up tomorrow regretting this…and thinking less of me for taking advantage of your fucked up situation. I want this to happen…just when you have a clear head."

She nodded, she laid back down against her pillow. He rejected sex. He rejected her, but instead of feeling upset or angry, she felt a new sense of respect for him. He wasn't what people…including him…described him as at all. There was obviously more to him than what most people saw and that fascinated her. She wanted to learn everything she could about Jackson Teller.

"Don't be upset, please. Believe me how hard it was for me to stop."

"I'm not," she placed her finger on his lips, "thank you." She raised up and kissed him softly. "You're right. As much as my body wants you…right here and now…this isn't how I want to remember my first time."

He placed his hands on each side of her cheeks, "I do want it to be with me though if you ever decide you want more than friendship." He stated.

"Goodnight." She whispered into the darkness.

"Night babe." She felt his lips on the back of her head.

She laid there staring into the darkness, she had never felt this way before. She assumed that's why the feelings were so strong. She knew what she wanted. She wanted him but she knew she couldn't handle being anything less than his exclusive girlfriend. She couldn't do casual hookups and see him with other girls…and she had a feeling he wasn't interested in anything more than that. She wasn't in love, she didn't even really know what being in love was, but she really liked him.

Another realization slapped her in the face. Her job here was completed. She was no longer needed here. Her mom would want her to come home. There would be hundreds of miles between them. Her heart hurt even more.


	4. Chapter 4

It was still dark when Tara woke up, she glanced at the clock to see she had only been asleep a couple of hours.

She knew her mom would be up getting ready for work though so she slipped out of the bed, grabbed her cell phone, and shut the door quietly behind her so she didn't wake Jax.

"Tara? Is everything okay?" Tara's mom answered on the second ring.

"He's gone." Tara let her tears fall again. "Mom, I was such a bitch. I should have treated him better. I shouldn't have made him feel so bad about everything."

"Your wounds were deep baby. At least you went there, it was more than he ever did for you. So stop beating yourself up. I'll be on the first plane out. I'll see you soon, honey."

"Thanks mom, I love you so much." Tara answered.

"I love you too. Let me get off here and call into let Jessie know I won't be coming in for a few days. I'll be there soon. I love you to the moon and back, baby girl."

"See you soon. Love you." Tara hung the phone up feeling a little bit better. At least she wasn't going to have to plan this funeral by herself.

"You okay?" Jax staggered into the room rubbing his eyes and squinting from the bright kitchen light.

"Yeah, I was just letting my mom know what happened before she went into work. She's on her way here to help me with the arrangements."

"That's good," Jax sat beside her at the table, "is there anything I can do for you?"

She pondered his words, "you can come lay back down with me and hold me."

"Done." He stood up, took her hand in his and led her back to her bedroom.

She snuggled back into his chest and he held her tightly, "thank you, this is just what I needed."

"I'm all about the service, baby." He couldn't contain his smile when he heard her laugh a real, unforced, laugh.

"Such the charmer." She stated after her laughter subsided.

"You know it." He squeezed her closer to him.

Jax was startled awake by someone knocking. He untangled himself from Tara, who for the first time since last night, looked at peace. She had a small smile on her sleeping lips. She's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. He kissed her forehead and went to make the incessant knocking stop. "Hale." He muttered when he saw David's jeep from Tara's window.

"Knock it off," Jax growled slinging the door open, "she's still asleep."

David took in Jax's appearance with an angry expression, bed head, no shirt or shoes. It was obvious that she let Jax stay with her instead of him. "Did you answer the door like this on purpose? So I would know you slept here?"

"Na," Jax answered, "that thought hadn't crossed my mind…although I'm not disappointed it worked out like this either. Well, now you know. You can stop hanging around."

"Unlikely," David protested, "she's my friend. I will be around until she tells me to leave. Besides, this doesn't mean anything to me. Sleeping on the couch doesn't mean anything."

Jax smirked, "she already told you to leave remember, last night, she said she didn't need you to come back. She was fine, and she is. She had me here all night holding her while she slept."

"Yeah right." David chuckled in disbelief. If he knew anything about Tara, he knew she wouldn't let a guy with as bad a reputation as Jax into her bed.

"Jax?" Tara called out, walking into David's view. His mouth dropped open seeing her in her short gown. She took his breath away. "Oh hi David." She picked up a throw blanket from the couch wrapping it around her, hiding her body. "What's up?" She stood next to Jax who wrapped his arm around her possessively.

Realization that everything Jax had said was obviously true, "I just wanted to check on you but I guess you're perfectly fine…" David hissed.

"I am. Thank you for checking though, it means a lot." Tara answered in a low voice. She could see he was upset, she tried to soften his mood.

"Can I talk to you in private?" David asked her. "It won't take long and then you can get back to it." He frowned.

"Okay. Sure. Let me get some clothes on." She stepped back pulling Jax with her to keep the two of them from having a boxing match right there in her yard.

"I will be back in a minute." She stated by the door, pleading with him, with her eyes, not to start anything with David.

He nodded.

"Hey." She stepped outside, "what's up?"

He stared at the porch, refusing to look at her. "When I first met you, I thought you were smart…"

"Excuse me…" She interrupted.

"I mean… I know you're smart. I know Teller has charm, but I thought you would be smart enough to see through it." He frowned. "I thought you would be the one girl in this town that could see what a loser he is. I thought you would be the one that I could…well…be happy with and not worry about Teller.

"David," she hesitated choosing her words carefully so she didn't hurt him, "you have been a great friend to me in my short time here."

"Friend." David hissed.

"Yes, friend." Tara answered getting annoyed with his attitude.

"Friend-listed again thanks to Teller." David turned on his heels to leave.

"Wait," Tara answered, "you can be mad at me but don't put this on Jax. He has nothing to do with this." She crossed her arms and stared him down.

"Of course it does." David insisted, "he's the one who's got you acting so weird."

"Weird?" Tara let out an annoyed laugh, "maybe this is just how I am. You don't really even know me but you're making judgements on my "weirdness."

"I know that you weren't a slut before you started hanging around him." He shouted and blushed. He hadn't meant to say that out loud and especially not that loud for the whole neighborhood to hear.

"Watch your mouth, you dumb fuck." Jax stormed out the door.

"It's okay Jax." Tara cut him off.

"The hell it is." Jax clenched his fists at his side.

"I'm sorry Tara, I didn't mean to say that. It just kind of slipped out." David apologized.

"Is it your normal routine to call virgins sluts?" Tara's mom questioned, standing behind David. "If so maybe you need to rethink it."

"I didn't mean to." David answered again.

"Mom." Tara wrapped her arms around her mother. "You should go now, David."

"I'm so sorry. Please let me make it up to you." David pleaded.

"GO while you still can." Jax growled.

David watched Tara, hoping she would defend him in some way, "I'm going." He answered, "I'm sorry Tara." He dropped his head and turned to leave.

"David," Tara called out to him, "we're okay. Just don't let it happen again." She stated. She felt bad for him.

He nodded and smiled.

"Well. This is interesting." Tara's mom chuckled.

"Mom, this is Jax Teller." She placed her hand on Jax's back and he wrapped his arm around her, "this is my mom, Grace."

"Jackson Teller. You've grown into a handsome young man." Grace extended her hand to Jax.

"Thanks ma'am." Jax answered.

"How's your folks?" Grace asked.

"Mom's good. My dad passed away about five years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Your dad was a good man." Grace replied. "I'm going to go get settled."

"Okay mom."

"It was nice to meet you Mrs…" Jax paused.

"Just call me Grace, it was nice to see you again Jax."

"I'll be in there in a minute." Tara added and turned to Jax, "thanks for being here for me." She whispered.

"Of course." Jax answered, wiping her hair out of her eyes. "I'll get going and let you spend some time with your mom. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay." She stood on her toes and kissed him softly. "Bye."

"Later baby." He winked and headed across the street.

Tara turned and saw her mom watching out the window.

"What's going on with that?" Grace asked.

"We're just friends…"

"You don't normally kiss your friends or let them spend the night with you so…there's obviously more to it." Grace replied.

"I like him and I think he likes me but I…" Tara sighed. "I don't know."

"Tara, Tara, Tara, you have a level head on your shoulders. Be smart about this. How does it play out? You start something with him and then going back to Portland? It just doesn't make sense; it will make you both miserable."

"I didn't mean to like him…I mean like him more than a friend or an acquaintance. It's not like I planned any of this. It just happened." Tara rested her head in her hands.

"Did you sleep with him? Is that what that scene out front was about?"

"No," she paused, "I mean yes I slept with him but not sexually. We slept in the same bed. He stayed here so I didn't have to be alone. He held me while I cried and while we slept."

"Nothing else?" Grace narrowed her eyes.

"There was some kissing and some other stuff." Tara admitted feeling thankful that she could always talk to her mom about anything and everything. "My hormones kind of went crazy being that close and I reacted."

"So you did have sex?" Grace gave Tara a small smile. She knew how much Tara must like this boy to even think about giving him her virginity.

"No," Tara shook her head, "he stopped it. He said he didn't want me to wake up in the morning with regrets. He said he wanted it to happen but not under these extreme circumstances. He didn't want me to have any bad feelings about my first time."

"I'm impressed." Grace stated and continued unpacking her bag. "Does he know that you're leaving in a few days?"

Tara dropped her eyes, "we haven't talked about it. I'm sure he knows, but he hasn't said anything."

"Well maybe you should before he's blindsided when the day comes."

Tara nodded, she knew her mom was right, but it was a conversation she wasn't looking forward to.


	5. Chapter 5

Tara spent the majority of the day packing up her dad's belongings with her mom. She knew it would take the majority of the day and maybe even the next day since he had apparently kept everything he ever owned. It would take her mind off Jax and the impending conversation that she had been subconsciously dreading since the moment Jax appeared in her yard to comfort her.

"I don't know how he got this much shit packed in this place." Grace shook her head in disgust at the mess they were left dealing with.

"A talent, I guess." Tara answered, tying off another trash bag.

"I guess we should get cleaned up, we have to meet with the funeral director in an hour. I'd like to stop by and see Gemma and Mary if they're around too." Grace wiped the sweat from her forehead throwing the box she was working on to the side.

"Gemma will probably be at TM. I'm pretty sure she runs the office. I don't know Mary."

"Mary lived across the street, you played with her son." Grace explained.

"Oh. Opie's mom. Right. Well, if what I gathered is right then she split town a while back. Opie lives there now with Jax and I think Opie's dad stays at TM the majority of the time."

"Well aren't you just in on all the local happenings?" Grace smirked.

"You hear a lot just walking around town. People really like to talk about the Sons."

"Uh huh, and I'm sure that lip action with Jackson Teller I saw earlier has nothing to do with it either."

"Shut it." Tara blushed. Her plan to not think about Jax wouldn't work if her mom kept bringing him up and avoiding him sure as hell wouldn't work if she drags her down to TM.

"My girl," Grace laughed, "crushing on the outlaw biker."

"It's just a phase. I'm sure it will pass." Tara replied. She didn't have a choice but to let it pass, she would be leaving him behind in just a few days.

"It's in your blood, I suppose." Grace admitted.

"Meaning what exactly…" Tara squinted in confusion.

"Nothing." Grace answered.

"You can't say something like that and then not tell me what you mean." Tara pushed.

"It's nothing. Let it go. We need to head out." Grace shut down. Tara knew she wouldn't get anything else out of her right now. She was stubborner than her and that was saying a lot.

My eyes must be playing tricks on me." Gemma squealed with delight, "Come here you!" She pulled Grace in for a hug. "It's been too damn long."

"Hey Gem. You're looking great."

"You too sweetheart and this girl of yours sure is a beauty, she looks just like you."

"I saw Jackson outside of Tom's locking lips with her. He grew into a handsome young man."

Tara face turned scarlet red, "thanks for telling everyone. Geez."

"I didn't tell everyone." Grace and Gemma laughed. "So how is everyone?" Grace directed her attention back to Gemma. "Jackson told me about JT. I'm really sorry to hear that."

"Thanks sweetheart. It was hard. Real hard there for a while." Gemma dropped her eyes momentarily and then looking back at Grace, "everyone else is fine."

"That's good, I'm glad to hear it."

"Mom, I'm going to head back over there and work on packing some more things. I'll see you later, 'kay?" Tara was bored, Jax wasn't here so there was no reason for her to hang around and listen to Gemma and her mom talk about the past.

Tara got the hall closet cleaned out, throwing almost everything away except some pictures from when she was a baby.

As much as she didn't want to clean out his room, she knew it had to be done. She had gotten almost everything cleaned out when she stumbled on a box in the back of his closet full of letters from her mom. Most of them were love letters from when they were dating but some were postmarked from Oregon after she already moved away.

Her mom had always told her that she had no contact with him after they moved except for the few times she sent him pictures that Tara had drawn or asking for help with bills. Tara's curiosity got the better of her.

She opened one that was postmarked shortly after Tara's third birthday.

" _My dearest Tom,_

 _I'm sorry things happened the way that they did. I never meant to hurt you. I would never intentionally betray you. You meant the world to me. So believe me when I tell you how sorry I am that I messed everything up. Please don't make Tara suffer for my mistake. You loved her like she was your daughter, that doesn't have to change. She IS your daughter if you want her to be. Please. You can be mad at me, but don't take this out on her. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't understand why daddy isn't around anymore. Please Tom. Think about her._

 _I love you and I'm truly sorry_

 _Grace_

Tara felt sick. What was this about? She dug through some more hoping to find some answers. She found a letter that her dad had written her mom but never sent.

" _You should have told me the truth back then and not waited until she was three years old for fucks sake. If it weren't for that test you probably would have kept it a secret forever. You're a lying bitch. I do love her. She is my daughter and she is always welcome to stay here but I'm done with you. If you want someone to love and forgive you, call HIM. Do not contact me anymore with worthless apologies. They mean nothing. Don't contact me at all unless it's about MY daughter."_

The letters made her head spin. She was nauseous. She kept digging. She stopped when her hands landed on a legal document with a chart full of numbers and letters. It was a DNA test her father had done.

 **The alleged father is excluded as the biological father of the tested child. The alleged father lacks the genetic markers that must be contributed to the child by the biological father. The probability of paternity is 0%.**

She grabbed the trash can and vomited. She rinsed her mouth out when she heard a motorcycle across the street. She glanced out the window, saw Jax, stuffed the letters and paternity test in her backpack and headed outside.

"Hey." She called out to him. "I need to talk to my mom, do you mind giving me a lift to TM? She's there talking to Gemma."

"Sure," he said and looked up at her, "are you okay? You look…"

"I just need to talk to my mom." Tara answered climbing on the back of his bike.

"Okay." He answered with concern in his tone. He helped her strap on her helmet before climbing in front of her, "hold on tight." She did as he ordered.

When they arrived at TM, there were people everywhere. She pondered for a second pulling her mom off to the side and confronting her quietly but the white hot anger and confusion took over as soon as she laid eyes on her standing there smiling and laughing with Gemma and some patched members.

She jumped off the bike, ignoring the hand that Jax had extended to her.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Grace noticed her daughter's demeanor before she got a word out.

"I can't believe you raised me to hate him." Tara hissed.

"Calm down. What are you talking about?" Grace whispered.

"You made me hate him for not being there for me, for not paying child support, for everything but he wasn't obligated do any of that. So who was mom? Who is my father since I know it wasn't the man you made me hate all of these years?" Tara growled.

"Tom is your dad Tara. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Apparently not," Tara yanked the DNA results from the bag and extended them out to Grace, "but according to these letters, YOU knew that. So you can stop lying now and tell me who my real father is. Do you even know?" She seethed. Tara had never known a time that she was this angry with her mother.

It was deathly quiet on the lot as everyone watch the show down between Tara and her mother.

Grace was stunned, "let's talk about this in private, baby."

"No. Tell me now. Is it someone here?" Tara gestured around the lot, "Is that what you meant earlier about falling for the outlaw being in my blood? WHO IS IT?"

Grace dropped her head.

"Gracie, what is this?" A member stepped forward. "Is she mine?"

A single tear fell down her cheek, "yes." Gracie answered.

Audible gasps were heard around the lot, Tara stared at the man in front of her. She could see it. As much as she looked like her mom, she could see some of him in her too, now that the truth was out and she was looking for any shred of a resemblance.

 _ **Authors Note: Who could it be?**_

 _ **Don't hate me, you'll find out soon enough! Much love to you all.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I told you I wouldn't make you wait too long, I already had this chapter wrote out and ready to post.**

"I had a daughter all of these years, AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME." The man shouted.

"I…" Grace paused thinking of something she could say to make this situation better, "I should have told you. I know that. I've picked up the phone to call several times but I just couldn't do it."

"Why the hell not?" He growled. "You didn't think I had a right to know that she was mine? You didn't think I should be able to have a relationship with her? My own flesh and blood?"

"We need to take this inside." Clay ordered ushering the now hostile parents inside with only club members, Gemma, and Tara following behind closing the door behind them.

"How would that have played out?" Grace narrowed her eyes, "I loved you. You were my first love. In all honesty, you're the only man I've ever truly loved to this day. I wanted to spend my life with you and then you patched into the club and I found out I was pregnant. Would you have wanted her to grow up around all of the MC's violence, sex, and drugs? I'm not blind or stupid, I know the Sons are involved in guns, drugs, and pussy. Is that the life you would have chosen for a baby girl? You all can hate me. I made a mistake by not telling you…or her…but I did it to protect her from this lifestyle. And, every time I picked up the phone to call to tell you, my fear of her being hurt by association kicked in and made me put the phone back down. I knew I had another option, Tom wanted me too. So I chose him and although, I never loved him like I loved you I tried to make it work. He was the safe choice for her."

"When did you get the DNA test?" Tara questioned before anyone else could respond.

"I didn't, your dad…I mean Tom did behind my back. Right before you turned three he started wondering why you didn't look anything like him. I said it was because you looked so much like me but he didn't believe me. When I was working he took you to be tested and then we moved to Portland."

"How do we know you're even telling the truth?" The man asked. "Maybe you were fucking someone other than me and Tom. You've lied about it this long? Maybe you're lying now."

"I've got to get out of here." Tara shook her head, feeling sick again. "Take me for a ride, please?" She reached for Jax's hand.

"You got it." Jax took her hand in his and led her toward the door.

"Tara, baby, wait. Please. Don't walk away." Grace cried out to her. Tara kept walking ignoring her mother's plea.

"That was some heavy shit." Jax stated after the two of them stopped driving. He took her to a field full of wild flowers. He liked to come here, sit under the big shade trees, and write or think. He figured it would be the perfect spot to let her work through these emotions.

"Yep." She kept her eyes focused on the ground. "Tell me about him." She finally looked up. "I mean you must know him pretty well since he's one of your club brothers."

Jax pondered what he should say, "he's…well…I don't really know what to say."

"All I want is the truth. No games. No lies. Just be straight up. If he's an asshole, say that. I don't even know his name."

"Tig Trager. He's an asshole, he's crazy as hell, he will do whatever Clay wants him to whether the rest of the club votes on it or not so I'd say he's loyal to the club but in all reality he's only loyal to Clay." He decided to leave out all of the parts about his weird, nasty sexual tendencies. He thought for a second longer, "I do remember Gemma defending him one time when I was complaining trying to figure out why he didn't get kicked out of the club. She said he hadn't always been this way. He was in love, got his heart broken when the woman left him out of the blue for someone else, and vowed to never get close to anything or anyone else but his club. I guess it makes sense now."

"I guess." Tara sighed. Leave it to her mom to completely wreck a life or two or three if you count her own. "Thank you." She stated.

"For what?" He cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Getting me out of there, bringing me here, helping to get my mind off of it. Everything I guess. Here you are, rescuing me from my fucked up life again. So, thank you."

"You're welcome." He bowed down playfully. "I'm all about the service babe." He started to say darlin' but thought better of it, with the mood she's in she might punch him and after the initial shock, it would probably just turn him on at the wrong time.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without your shoulder to cry on when I go back home." She held her breath waiting on his response. She figured she might as well get all of the shit out of the way now that her day has already been fucked up.

"Home to your dad's or home…home?" He questioned, he already knew what she meant but needed her to say it.

"Home, home. I was only here to take care of him…" She paused.

He dropped his head and nodded, he knew she had to go. He just tried not to think about it, "I guess you'll just have to come visit if you need me."

She nodded, breathing a sigh of relief when he didn't flip out on her, "you may have a girlfriend by then who wouldn't like me coming to cry on your shoulder."

He smirked, "since I don't do the girlfriend thing, I'd say that's not a legitimate worry. Besides, my shoulder is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year if you need me."

She grinned up at him, "I appreciate that. It's crazy how much I'm going to miss you in just this short amount of time."

"I'll miss you too." He answered honestly, "you can always stay. I'm sure your dad…Tom…left you the house. You already know your neighbors. Or you could always stay with me and my shoulder." He chuckled.

"My mom needs me." She answered. "Especially now."

He nodded. He knew getting her to stay would be a long shot. She had a whole life that didn't include him.

"I have thought about it though. I like this town…and the people in it."

"Well, I want you to do what makes you happy, but if you decide to stay I may have to rethink that no girlfriends thing." He winked.

Butterflies filled her stomach. His offer was very appealing, especially the last part.

 **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the update.**

 **I tried to find Kurt Sutter's version of Tig's back story online since I don't think they go into much detail in the show. All I could find was he's in his late 40's to early 50's. Since this is an AU, I decided the show's backstory and timeline weren't really relevant. Thanks for reading and all of your support!**


	7. Chapter 7

Grace was waiting for Tara at the house when Jax dropped her off, "baby I'm sorry I didn't tell you but you have to believe that I was only looking out for your wellbeing."

Tara was torn, she knew her mom loved her more than anything and probably believed what she was doing was her only option, "Why did you make me hate him so much? Despite everything you did, he still loved me. He wanted me there with him in his final days and I couldn't get past the fact that he abandoned me. Then I find out after it's too late, and I can't take any of it back, that he was never obligated to do anything. He never had to love me, but here he was still loving me, still wanting me to be with him one last time. Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

Silent tears rolled down Grace's cheeks. "I don't know. I should have once you were old enough to understand. I guess I still thought I needed to protect you from the MC lifestyle."

Tara rolled her eyes, "if you were so worried about me getting wrapped up in that life, why did you insist I come here? IF that's the real reason you did everything then you failed, mom, you pushed me here right into the arms of the Prince of SAMCRO himself."

"I see that." Grace dropped her head. "Things will get better when we get back home. I'll make this better, somehow. I promise."

"Mom, I love you. You've been my best friend my whole life. None of that has changed but I'm not sure I can just leave. Not right now."

"What are you saying?" Grace questioned.

"I'm saying that I think I may want to stay for a little while." Tara replied, biting her lip nervously.

Grace dropped her head, "I understand. You don't want to leave him. You have the same look in your eyes that I had with Alexander."

"It's not just that," Tara sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, "I want to get to know _him._ "

"Alexander?" Grace was surprised by Tara's admission. She assumed Tara wouldn't want anything to do with him. She was already prepared to fight for her to give him a chance but Tara was ready to do that on her own. Her baby girl's not a baby anymore. She's growing up.

Tara nodded, "I know you guys have a lot of history, but I feel like I should give him a chance, ya know?"

"I think you are doing the right thing. You should stay here and get to know him. You both deserve that opportunity."

"I want you to stay too." Tara stated.

"I don't think that's a good idea honey. It's unsafe for me here, given the circumstances." Grace replied, walking to repack her bag.

"What do you mean by that?" Tara asked but Grace shut the door. "Go see Jax at the clubhouse baby. Talk to Alexander. I'm going to get some rest."

Tara walked to the clubhouse, thinking about what her mom had said. Did she believe someone from the club would hurt her because of what she did?

"Jax," she tapped him on the shoulder when she walked into TM, "I need to talk to the members. Is that possible? It's important."

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"I think so. Can you get them all together for me? Your mom too, please?" Her brow furrowed. He could see she was worried about something so he did as she asked.

…UntilNow….

"What's going on, son?" Clay asked once everyone settled into the room.

"Tara needs to talk to everyone." He answered stepping back letting her step forward.

Tara took a breath, "I'm really sorry to drag you all away from what you were doing. I promise I won't take up much of your time." Her hands trembled nervously, she had never been much of a public speaker, "I know a lot of you are upset, pissed off, hurt or whatever about the secret my mom kept for all of these years. Believe me, I feel all of those things too. I believe she did the only thing she thought she could to protect me. I'm her whole life and I have been since she found out she was pregnant with me."

"Where are you going with this sweetheart?" Gemma asked kindly when Tara paused again collecting her thoughts.

"She said something at home when I asked her to stay here with me while I got to know you," Tara looked at Tig, "I mean if you want me to stay…" The thought occurring to her that he may not want anything to do with her.

"Of course I do, Tig answered, "what did she say?"

"She told me to stay here but she had to leave because she wouldn't be safe here given the circumstances. What did she mean by that? Why wouldn't she be safe."

"She thinks because of this lie, Samcro will hurt her." Piney answered.

"That WON'T happen." Tig looked around the room at every member making sure they heard the warning in his tone. "She will be safe here for as long as she wants to stay."

Everyone spoke their agreement, no one had planned on hurting her.

Tara let out the breath she was holding and Jax placed his hand on her back, "you and your mom will always be kept safe here. You're family."

Everyone agreed with his statement.

"Thank you, I just needed to guarantee her safety before I try to talk her into staying. You all can get back to whatever you were doing. Sorry to bother you."

"You're never a bother sweetheart." Gemma kissed her cheek. "I'm going to go talk to your mom."

"So you're staying after all?" Jax smiled.

"If I can talk my mom into it. I still think I should be with her but if I can't then maybe I can split my time between here and there."

"Can we talk?" Tig questioned.

In all of the years that Jax had known Tig he never heard him use that voice before. A quiet, kind of sweet, uncertain tone.

"Sure." Tara nodded and followed Tig to a room in the back.

"I don't even know where to begin," Tig spoke, "there's so much I want to say but I'm still processing."

"I'm probably the one person who understands what you mean right now." Tara agreed. "Did you love my mom?"

"More than anything." He admitted without hesitation.

"Will you be able to get past what she did?" Tara paused, "I mean can you be around her without making her feel like shit for it any time you see her. I really want her to stay. I need her to stay. I've heard you can be an asshole so I guess what I'm saying is don't keep making her feel like shit or I'll kick your ass." She was surprised by her own words as they came out. She didn't even really know this man; she knew he had a bad reputation but she just threatened him nonetheless.

He smirked at the boldness and authority in her tone. "Since you put it that way, I'll be on my best behavior." He winked.

"Thank you." She grinned. "I know we have a lot to discuss. 21-years' worth of stuff to catch up on, but I'm not really feeling that right now. I think we should take some time, process, and then when we're up to it, maybe spend a day together and see how it goes."

"Sounds good." He agreed.

She nodded and walked back to find Jax.

Tig smiled to himself. He may have just found out about her but the love he felt for his daughter already was overwhelming. She's beautiful-looks just like her mother. He always thought Grace looked like a porcelain skinned angel. She does have his sea-green eyes though with a hint of Grace's brown mixed in.

He never dreamed a girl would have him wanting to change his erratic behavior that he'd become so accustomed to after Grace left, his girl has done that already. He needed to be someone she could be proud to call her dad. It would take a lot of work to change but he was determined for her to want to have a relationship with him. He had a lot of time to make up for.


End file.
